Video and Multimedia
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Description: In this Ted talk, Dr. David Thornsen challenges us to “avoid” avoiding conflict in our relationships. Avoidance is a common conflict style that emerges in close relationships. What communicative strategies would you try during a conflict with someone who typically avoids conflict?
Description: Madeline Poultridge provides her perspective on how to engage in constructive conflict with one’s parents about issues that one cares about. In this TED talk, she shares how her fights were not always effective, but she discovered mediation skills that helped her to become more effective during conflictual interactions.
Description: In this talk at Google, Dr. Judith Wright, a relational expert, discusses the root of relational conflicts in relationships. Ultimately, she argues that conflict can strengthen rather than harm relationships. After viewing this lecture, think about whether you agree or disagree with her scholarly perspective.
Description: Gottman’s four horsemen of the apocalypse are discussed in Chapter 11. To distinguish among the four, watch this video provided by the Gottman Institute. Have you ever experienced this conflict pattern? If so, how did it impact your relationship?
Description: Gottman suggests that four negative communication patterns can lead to relationship failure. In this video, each of the four horsemen of the apocalypse including complaining/criticizing, contempt/disgust, defensiveness, and stonewalling are illustrated with a few couples. From your opinion, do you think that the four horsemen predict divorce? Why or why not?
Weird Things All Couples Fight About
Description: What do couples fight about in their conflictual interactions? What types of issues emerge in these videos? What conflict styles do you identify in this video? Does this couple use these communication strategies effectively or ineffectively?
Description: In this Neil Sattin podcast, Dr. John Gottman, an expert in conflict management from the Gottman Institute, discusses how to confront conflict in relationships in a constructive manner to master one’s romantic relationships. What research findings discussed in this interview can help couples manage conflict more effectively in their relationship?
Description: Couples argue about many issues in the process of a marital relationship. This NPR podcast discusses how we talk about money triggers marital conflict.
Description: In this Relationship Matters podcast, Dr. Keith Sanford from Baylor University discusses conflict resolution strategies in couples, given the findings of his research. According to Dr. Sanford, what strategies are the least effective?
Description: In this podcast hosted by Only You Forever, marriage counselors discuss how negative communication patterns, such as the demand-withdraw, harm marital relationships. What factors contribute to the use of the demand-withdraw pattern? Have you ever noticed this negative communication pattern in your relationships?
Description: This Gottman relationship blog focuses on how to cope with a complaining partner. Jon Beaty provides strategies to help partners feel empowered to communicate with partners who constantly complain.
Description: In this PsychCentral blog article, Margarita Tartakovsky argues that conflict is not always “bad” in a relationship. On the contrary, conflict can also function to strengthen a relationship. Our approach to conflict, such as engaging in listening and creating healthy boundaries, can improve the quality of our relationships. Do you approach conflict in a constructive or destructive manner with your partner?
Description: In this Paired Life article, Dr. Yvette Stupart, a clinical counselor and educator, provides insights to understanding the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. How do these types lead to relational dissolution in marriage? Do you agree, or disagree with the 5:1 ratio in relational interactions?
Description: A 20-year study by the University of California—Berkeley found that negative conflict patterns such as stonewalling can have a negative health consequences. How can the symptoms of stonewalling be prevented in relationships?